You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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