It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
