That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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