tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize