Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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