it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
