Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
