I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
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going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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