don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
