I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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