just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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