be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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