He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
