Fuck appropriateness.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
