so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Randomize
