it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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