i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
