i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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