I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
this just has baby written all over it
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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