Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Randomize
