If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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