So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
