she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize