well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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