he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
