Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
