apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Randomize
