Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
