Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
