idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
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