love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Randomize
