at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
