Who wears a wallet chain?!
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
