Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
