No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize