In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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