How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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