Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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