If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
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