i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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