Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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