I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
