next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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