this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
