He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
