Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
false alarm. still invincible.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
