I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
