We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I will pee on everything he values.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
wow bdsm is so cute
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
