Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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