Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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