Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
