She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize
