So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
