I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Randomize
