It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
